Tuesday, September 18, 2012

(Not) On Yunel and the state of this blog


I'm not even going to bother mailing in a post on the Yunel fiasco.  I've started and deleted and started over and deleted again, and.... I just don't want to.  I don't have it in me.  I have opinions on this, you bet I do.  But this topic is so polarizing and brings out the absolute worst in folks on both sides of this ugly fence, and quite frankly, I don't have the stomach for it.

Does that make me a coward?  I don't know.  Maybe some will say that it does.  I'd like to think it makes me nothing more than a guy with a blog (he neglects... more later) who doesn't believe he has anything to add that hasn't already been written much better elsewhere.  To add to the virtual ink, at this point, would feel like nothing more than your friend the Ack standing on his soapbox for no other reason than to align with one side or the other.

The implication of the above, I suppose, is that... just what in the fuck am I doing here, anyway?  If that's the prevailing attitude of your dude, then why bother carrying on with this little page?

I don't know the answer to that one, friends.  I do know that I started this blog with the grandest (& humblest... what?) of intentions.  That is, pick up where I left off with my old pal the Tao of Stieb, bang out a post per week or whenever the mood strikes or or or...

And yet the mood rarely strikes.  I don't know if it's this heartbreaking disaster of a season or adjusting to a busier life chasing my two very mobile kids around or if I've just lost whatever it was I had, or the massive amounts of Blue Jays coverage and opinion already out there... or what.

What I do know is that I feel a vague sense of disappointment that I haven't gotten around to making this page any more than it is.  Not in a sense of "bigger and better", but more along the lines of reasonable quality and quantity of discussion.  No question I've been somewhat of a failure at this game.

So where to from here?  Not sure yet.  I've considered giving up the "character" altogether, deleting the page, my twitter profile, the whole bit.  While I've never actually "met" anyone - save for Tao and Parkes - I think I'd miss a lot of you and my twitter bros something awful. 

Flip the switch and go full disclosure?  Well, that would be weird at this point, since I've been at it for a number of years now and quite literally nobody in my "real life" knows that I do this (except the wife, who only has the vaguest of interest and/or understanding.  And maybe the odd drunken confessional with my Blue Jay buds, conversations long forgotten and quite likely never remembered).

So I don't know.  I suppose I'll ask you to bear with me while I figure this existential blogging crisis out.  Maybe I'll get prolific again one day.  Maybe I will actually succeed in achieving my initial internal goal of making this a destination page.

I'll keep you posted and hopefully, um, post again soon - this time on a topic of relevance surrounding this club. 

Until then, see you on twitter, friends.


9 comments:

CoolHead said...

What if find interesting, is that everybody IRL, is aware that I write stuff on the internet,but I intentionally avoid being specific about my personal life on the net. I like my friends to know what I do, but not so interested that strangers know who I am.

We practice a different kind of anonymity.

I do enjoy what you do, it has a different tone than anything else out there.

Enjoy what you do, for yourself, that's the most important.

Ian - BJH said...

After the cluster you-know-what that has been the 2012 season, it's been tough to find positive things to write about, so I totally get where you're coming from.

Keep doing what you're doing sir, and in the wise words of Joe Dirt - keep on keepin' on.

If it wasn't for you Ack, I'd have no idea who Jim Acker was.

Kathryn said...

While I'm sure the point of your post isn't a cry for positive reinforcement, I'd like to give it - I hope you keep on with the blog when the mood strikes, and with 'the twitter'. I very much enjoy what you do, both previously at Tao of Stieb and here. You win the award for blogger I'd most like to have a beer and watch a game with (a prestigious honour I assure you) because of your take that's a) sane and logical and b) never stops you from being a fan or taking yourself too seriously ( and c - often mirrors mine)

I understand the point of a desire to just leave this situation on the blog. Even tweeting, by the time I get home from work every opinion has been tweeted and analyzed and I find there's little left to say that isn't just speaking to hear yourself speak.

And, god, nothing to joke about.

You have to think 2013 will clear the ennui associated with Blue Jays fandom. I hope it's not tempting the baseball gods to say it can't be much harder to be participating fan of this team than now.

The Southpaw said...

possibly repeating what I just tweeted in your direction but:

First off - I never did grok the whole "persona" thing. I never understood what could happen on a baseball blog that would require anonymity. I was always puzzled by that when reading the Tao. But then I don't live anywhere near Toronto and maybe it's different when some blowhard can accost you in a coffee shop?

I do write for sites where it's important, but I wouldn't have thought so when discussing baseball. anyway, I take no position on THAT aspect of your reflective mood.

I do sympathize, however, with the question of significance since I've been unemployed it's been much more difficult to find a motivation for investing time in the blog. but I'm sure part of that is the way the season has fallen apart too.

i won't give baseball blog related advice whether or not to continue because I've also considered all the points you raise. BUT i will say something that was said to me about writing in general.

I fancy myself a writer, albeit a lazy and procrastinating one. And that which makes one a writer is, ultimately, how well they write...and one writes well by keeping that set of muscles exercised.

So if you are a Jays fan who simply likes having a platform to sound off on...let the blog sleep if you want (i would NOT kill it because it hurts nothing sitting here waiting for your return)

But if you do this because you are a writer, then keep doing it. It doesn't matter, I don't think (at least if it does I myself am a considerable failure at this game) whether you toss of 5 posts a week addressing every slightly significant Jays-event (I submit, as evidence, "The Mockingbird" which is not exactly overflowing with hourly posts), or if you have thousands of avid followers.

Rather, it matters that when the muse (for lack of a better cliche) moves you, you write something worth reading.

In short - are you a writer? If so, carry on. Either way, I'm pleased to have made your virtual acquaintance.

The Ack said...

Thanks for these, friends. Appreciate the words.

Kathryyn - I consider that the highest of honors, because that is honestly how I approach blogging... like a simulated convo sitting in a bar or a basement (heyo!) chatting about the Jays. So, that's wicked.

Southy - nope, not a writer... not professionally by any stretch (obvious is obvious) nor do I think of myself as one. Just a cat who enjoys it when I'm so inspired. Which is kind of the problem, as mentioned.

Gil Fisher said...

You need a muse.

Gil Fisher said...

Also, I too, would like to chime in on this Escobar mess....

I have nothing to add.

Thank you.

MK said...

This is what I get for ignoring twitter. Wonderful post and I totally get where you are. My theatre blog went down to pretty much nothing as my interests went elsewhere. It still exists in cyberspace though because I'm proud of what I wrote there. And maybe sometime there will be something I'll want to say there. So take the break and see what happens. It's all good.

Eddy said...

Hard to stay positive about a team that's sucked for 20 years. I'm still and always will be a Jays fan, but the consistent losing takes it's toll when u want to say good things about your team. I hope u come back writing with a vengence come spring and hopefully the team will give u good things to write about this coming year;)